nice gathering with vballers today, coz all of us managed to turn up!

I can see that everyone has grown up alot. mostly attached except for me and char. think I am the last. haha. its okay. I am fine with my life being single currently. chit chat in little groups jumping into one another's conversation now and then. I had a nice chat with sharon, think I talk to her most of the time. me and her have the same hobby, that is to stay at home. haha. good hobby yah. I told her about my life and she told me hers.

then nus pple ask me to go for exchange program and stay in their hall. I will really considered that. then char ask me join hall vball, though I not staying in hall. I don't mind if I have a space to sleep overnight, cause the trainings end quite late, or unless the next day I got no lesson.

then me and sharon were the only two that never stay in hall. so quite out of conversation, but it was nice listening to their talks. everyone's doing well.haha.

qiaoyi wore singlet and fbt. haha. very funny. heard she planned to go swimming before that but it rained. lolx. last night, I asked qiaoyi how did she analysed me last time and this was what she said:
"u will keep things to urself but u will talk the things out when u want to and u plan for the future. although u look as if u dun care, slack. budden i feel that u treat each matter, or thing quite seriously."
I should say its quite true and I think she understands me more than I do. She really has the potential to be a psychologist.

Think I really need to go exercise and start my diet le. really growing fat. and I think I am the fattest among the vball gals. cannot liddat. need to start burning off my fats. I have decided to start tml. shall go running tml morning or afternoon coz I want to sleep, if it doesn't rains. I also heard from pple that sleeping can lose weight. maybe I should sleep to lose weight coz sleeping is my hobby too.

sore sorethroat...

was telling char ytd that I have nth good, only a pair of good ears. I found that this is definitely true. Sometimes I really think my mouth is superglued, sealed up and refused to be opened. chat with her through the long night on msn. maybe that's my character, or maybe some things that happened cause this character build-up and I didn't even noticed.

I really think I am having frequent mood swings recently. And I don't know why. No reason. Or maybe there is, I just don't feel like admitting it. confused..

i still feel tt i am better in expressing my feelings and moods in chinese...tt's why of my new blog in chinese..hmmm..

i told alot of pple that i had already let go regarding my cousin's pass away. however, i have been thinking of her on and off, not a very good feeling though. i really wonder whether am i facing reality or running away from it? or maybe becoz during tt period i was having exams so i held on to my feelings. to speak the truth, i did not realli cried out tt day though i realli feel like becoz i was afraid it will affect my exams. maybe some of the sadness is still buried deep down in my heart. think i need time to dig it out.

but i realli miss her loads...and i had one regret ever since she passed away.
i regret for not visiting her that last week.i thought i could visit her when my exams were over. but she didn't managed to wait for me. this regret is going to be with me for my lifetime.

went out with 0805 pple in the afternoon, just reach home.

meet them at bugis and we went for fish&co. caught up with them. it really has been very long since i talk to them. although some from NTU, but i seldom see them in school. nice day.most of us ordered the same dish, which was the best fish and chips. i couldn't finish my fries, it was definitely a big share manz. i also had the passionfruit drink. nice eh! was telling some of them why they choose bugis as i am quite sick of going bugis. have been visiting there quite often.

on the way home, was on the train with teeyan and mervyn, chatted with them. woo~ also nth much la. today's lunch, the funniest one was zhilian, she confirm getting lamer by the days. heard from zhilian she wasn't getting along very well with her friends in uni. lucky my uni friends are very nice. hohoho.

having a bit of sore throat lately, seems to be getting worse. ate too much heaty food ba.

wed vballers meeting at bugis again. why of all place, bugis?? haha. anyway, i haven reply qiaoyi. lazy to reply ba. wonder if qy sees what i am blogging, she might be mad at me for not replying her sms. coz today peirong was asking whether did i change my phone number coz i didn't reply her that day.

maybe i having mood problems sia. feel like then i reply pple's sms, dun feel like then i ignore. lolx. one of my bad habits ba...

these few days have been posting on my new blog using chinese..woa~cool ah?haha.

the address is http://www.wretch.cc/blog/luvc0930

feel free to visit it..can't bear to abandon this blog..think i will still be keeping this blog..haha.

have a nice day~!

feeling sad and angry today...
feeling so unlucky...

one fine day, i am going to own a car by myself...my new aim.

its now my exam period...yet...my cousin kyla, passed away peacefully on 20th april 2008, sunday...

realli miss her manz...dun think i will be doing well for my exams..this week got 4 papers...finished 2 le..left 2 more to go..

kyla was cremated today...damn sad...sad...sad...she is only 25 this year...i wonder how old i can live till..life's unexpected...if people noticed..her story is on today's xin ming wan bao...but its a very short one...her story was definitely longer than that...even when she couldnt move, she still managed to wrote her last piece of words for her family, relatives and friends through the help of her teacher...

hope she is doing well now in heaven...

miss you lotx, Kyla!

I sincerely pray to God to bring my cousin to heaven earlier, the place where she long to be. A place without illness, without jealousy, without quarrels and only a place showered with peace, love and happiness by God. What a lovely place! If only where I am now is such a kind of place.

May God Bless her with such lovely moments sooner......

live life to the fullest while you can...

have been visiting my dear cousin kyla. She was only 24 years old when she was diagnosed with a third stage rare tissue cancer, pecoma, in july07. She underwent a 6 hours major op to remove her womb , part of large intestine, lymph nodes that had cancer cells around it and also some around her veins on the left leg. After the op, she had a stoma (an opening which allows the removal of feces bypassing the rectum) done at the iluem.

Her mum couldn't take the stress and was in a state of depression, taking sleeping pills almost everyday. Kyla however was strong and determined to fight against the cancer cells. She told her mum,"you've to go back home and rest well if not you'll not be able to look afer me when i need you.". These words were indeed very touching. Everyone was happy seeing her determination to live on. Her father had to deal with her situation and also his wife's depression causing him to breakdown a few times.

After undergoing 4 months of chemo, the doctor gave her a MRI scan. The result was that her cancer cells were actually spreading. Some growing on the kidneys, ureter, bladder, around her veins. The biggest was actually 7.7cm by 6.2cm. She herself felt sad and she cried. But her determination was still there. She had to take morphine pills 3 times daily which was a small dosage as compared to now. She started to believe people's experiences and started consuming different prescription and even took chinese medicine. Basically, she tried almost everything and everyway there was. from Chinese medicine to beetroot to lemongrass to mangosteen to chanting buddha scripts to..... Her weight dropped to 30+kg. She had backaches everyday and was unable to be in one position for long.

During my recess week, I visited her. but the next week, she was lying in hospital. Injection of a stronger painkiller than morphine, blood test, scans, drips...her cancer cells actually grew to almost 30cm which the doctor describe that it was as big as a football. Her parents were very sad. now and then, tears could be seen welling up in their eyes, sighing and yawning. They visit her every morning at 6.30am till 10pm at night. her father's big belly had actually flatten and disappeared. She had very bad backaches increasing the baseline of painkiller everyday and asking for a perch(additional dosage of painkiller on top of baseline requirement) from 2 times a day to once every 2hours. Her stomach was bloated and her legs swollen due to the removal of lymph nodes. However she was still eating well and smiling now and then. Her ureter was block due to the enlarged tumor, she had tubes diectly connected to her kidneys to drain out the excessive fluids. After another few days, the doctors had metal tubes inserted into her ureter to assist her to drain out fluids into the bladder. but one of her kidneys was found to be disfunctioning. She was able to released by herself after that.

all these was not for long...a few days later, she couldnt take the pain much more and she became frustrated. I visited her today and the baseline for her painkiller is at the max already. this time it was her urethra that was block by the tumor and her released of fluids was not to the expected level. so a tube was inserted into the bladder through urethra. Her was half-concious due to the large dosage of painkillers. she was even dozing off while having dinner. Her elder sister was beside her all the time. puffy eyes and wasnt looking good as well. doctors said that she needs a spinal anesthesia because she had reached the max dosage of painkiller allowed.

I felt so sad when i look at her. happy memories filled me. the times when we played tgt and how she dote on me. how she tied my hair for me, her cheerful looks long ago, dinners tgt, midnight soyabean before the major op, potato chips and tv....many many more...tears well up my eyes many times but they didnt dripped down in front of her..the more her smiles, the worse we feel...and now she is half-concious..eating with the slightest energy she has.

I hope her sufferings can end sooner but i can bear to see her leave...oh man...i am so confused...:"(

I have lessons tmr. but i cant get to sleep.:"(

ntu trng cancelled today coz too little pple.haha.lucky sia.i feeling so lazy today...in fact is everyday.think i need to exercise and go on diet le.wahaha.

i am so damn sad lah.my computer harddisk collapsed.should have changed it earlier.shit it man.not only my C drive files gone, my D drive files is in danger.think very hard to retrieve le.damn la.got so many things dere.my mp3, my photos...and alot more.sianx.need go sim lim one day and search for a larger space harddisk.haha.but need money.not alot, think around 50 bucks.so suay manx.now using my brother's computer.damn damn damn.if D drive cannot get back i really gonna cry lo.haix :"(

tj duno trng when and wad time de.haiyo.very mah fan.muz ask juniors.shall see tml.think tml have but duno wad time.sigh~

One touching story...

...dun forget to give your love ones a hug today!

slacking at home everyday..
taking a *peep* at my hamsters..i saw spidermEn.

this one is abit blur...

looking nearer at those hanging objects... and this is the nearest...aha!
my baby hamstee.

comparing the size....cool eh..the small one looks so mini..

from 2 hamsters to 4 and now to 10...forever multiplying figure...

i think my mama^hamster is pregnant again...goin to give birth in another week or so...wahaha.

some day this week....

Visited The Animal Resort at jalan kayu...some interesting birds..

looks like peacock...but not sure wad it is. this is definitely a swan..a black one?!

this is the most disgusting creature there. looks like a bald head old man.

joke of the day>> this creature looks like fukuan in CSS2

i guess this is a goose...

besides birds..we saw puppies on sale, rabbits and newly born baby rabbits with no hair, guinea pigs, rats...oso got chickens...haha..fun day!!

I bought this ticket......and I was just 55 tickets away from S$10k... My little hamster babies...8 babies this time but 1 died...

I watched pirates of the caribbean on wednesday night..nice movie..highly recommended..Captain jack sparrow was never never hilarious..I laughed till I fall back on my seat..woot~ wahaha..

I am injured..below my left eye got one red mark and my nose kena blue black also..I was in a fight?!..no no..I hit myself accidentally while playing with a stick..results of being playful..hmmm..lucky today the marks disappeared except my nose still blue black..muhehe..

Hey peeps, I am back!

So sorry for not replying qiaoyi’s msges and aga’s oso. Its just that my phone wasn’t with me. I was away. Not so soon but hopefully next next dinner I can join in.heh heh:P

Sunday’s Queensway trip I didn’t manage to go too coz I really wasn’t feeling well. Sick, you know? On the way of recovering. But I did went Queensway the week before and bought a pair of converse shoes at 40% staff discount. Save me a lot. Anyone want anything from converse, everlast and another brand I forgot, can tell me the item serial number. I can get discount for you guys.

AND…life is so boring. When you have work, you don’t feel like working. When you have nothing to do, you feel like working. My work is ending this week. Gonna be jobless again.

Gtg rest le. Shall blog another time. Byebye. smilex:)